S’up, Levi?

Levi Johnston:  Hockey Hunk?  Expectant Father?  “Fuckin’ Redneck”?

It’s been over 48 hours since we met you, and you’re still such an enigma. 

All we know about you comes from prior NationalWaterCooler photo salutes and your MySpace profile.

(Did you really not want kids? Or was that another Elite Liberal Media™ smear?)

Geesh, you don’t even have your own Wikipage yet!

When you do get one, we’re gonna add the one thing we know you like: GUM!

We caught you chewing while onstage after your (future? current?) mother-in-law’s speech last night!

(Or were you dippin’? Much more redneck!)

So until you do your sit down with Tyra Banks these pix are all we have to go on!

(Note to Bristol Palin:  RELAX!  He’s yours!!!  We know you snagged him already!
He’s got your name ‘tatted to his ring finger for crying out loud!  You can let go of his hand now.)

UPDATE: Friday 9/5/8 : 9:05am

Bonus Pic!  Levi tenderly kissing his brother-in-law (?) from last night’s photo op.

“Leave Bristol, Alone!”

Links:

Wiki: Levi Johnson

Wonkette: Check Out Levi Johnston’s Meth-Trash Ring Finger Tattoo

US Magazine: Levi Johnston has Bristol Tattoo on Ring finger

NationalEnquirer: Teen Preggo Crisis

YahooNews: Levi Photos!

Radar Online: Palin Daughter’s Babydaddy: Some dude Named Levi, Reports Enquirer

McCain Site Official Statement from Sarah and Todd Palin: Our unwed 17 year old daughter is preggo and we’re super psyched!

iReport: Sarah Palin’s child may be her daughters?

see also: Welcome, Levi Johnston!, Baby Johnston: First Photo!, Congratulations, Bristol Palin! and Good Luck, Sarah Palin!