Baby Johnston: First Photo!

Dear Mr. and Future Mrs. Levi Johnston, (not pictured above)

We here at NationalWaterCooler are prepared to offer you $10,000 for the exclusive first picture of your baby.

Think about it. Worldwide exclusive photo rights for ten thousand dollars!

$10,000 buys a lot in Wasilla, Alaska. Or anywhere for that matter.

We should mention that it’s not a cash offer.
It’s actually a $10,000 Target gift card to use at the first Alaskan store opening in Wasilla this October!

(Trust us, you’re gonna love Target, its like a WalMart that they clean occasionally!)

Celebrity Baby Photos are so hot right now.

And thanks to the wise decision of Bristol’s mother and John McCain to thrust you and your fetus into the international spotlight, you all are celebrities now too!

Just like Britney and Paris!

The offer goes down $1 a minute until the baby is born. Starting now.