Congratulations, Bristol Palin!

Pregnant unwed teenage daughter of Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin!

It looks like your mother taught you a lot of things, not just how to kill a caribou!

Clearly she taught you ALL about the birds and the bees at home,
since she is against sex education in the Alaska public schools.

We hope she can teach you how to not tell anyone on your staff you’re pregnant for 7+ months,

not let your belly show for 8 months,

how to take a 8 hour airplane ride after your water broke with a high risk pregnancy,

or how to go back to work three days after giving birth.

And even though the father of your baby said he doesn’t want kids,
we’re sure he’ll come around when he finds out how much money you can make for “celebrity” baby photos.

Of course the big kudos should be saved for John McCain,

for selecting a running mate solely by using his maverick gut instincts,
(and the advice of a secret council of Christian Conservative Puppetmasters),

and not bothering to find out anything about her beforehand.

Now THAT’S judgement we can believe in!

Links:

McCain Site Official Statement from Sarah and Todd Palin: Our unwed 17 year old daughter is preggo and we’re super psyched!

iReport: Sarah Palin’s child may be her daughters?

Editor and Publisher: Palin Staff Unaware of Britsol’s Pregnancy

Palin Says She Felt Safe Flying to Alaska to Have Baby

The Nation: Secretive Right-Wing Group Vetted Palin

HuffPo: McCain Camp Never Searched HomeTown Newspaper

AmericaBlog: Sarah Palin and children conceived out of wedlock

Mudflats: Sarah Palin’s Vetting Problem

Anchorage Daily News: Secret’s Out: Palin’s Pregnant