Good Luck, Sarah Palin!

Good luck with your big speech tonight, Sarah Palin!

We know you’ve got to be fuh-reeking out right about now!

Having only governed the fourth least populated state,
(where nobody has to pay taxes and everybody gets free cash from the government every year)
We’re sure you’re not used to speaking before such a large crowd.

Just try and put all the hubub out of your mind,

(Like Troopergate, BabyGate, AlaskanIndependenceGate, BridgeToNowhereGate, EarmarkGate, ControversialPastorGate, LibraryGate, PoliceChiefGate, BabyGate2, etc...)

Let John McCain worry all about VettingGate, it’s really his problem!

You just worry about not messing up all the talking points drilled into your head at this weekend’s McCram Session.

Speech tip: if you get nervous, look for a familiar face in the crowd.

For example, the father of your unwed teenage daughter’s unborn baby!

(You have met him before, right?)

And John McCain, if you do make a surprise appearance in the convention hall,

TRY NOT TO STARE AT SARAH’S ASS!!

Cindy! Watch out for those closed door cabinet meetings!!

Links:

Washington Post: She’s Nice, But Not Ready

WashingtongPost: Aides Say Team Interviewed Palin Late In Process

Boston Herald: Palin for “Bridge to Nowhere” before she was against it

State of Alaska: Permanent Fund Dividend Division

ABCnews: Another Palin Firiing Scandal

Unbossed.com: Sarah Palin, Banner of Books and Scourge of Librarians

YahooNewsPhoto: Sarah Palin and Laura Bush and Cindy McCain

Wonkette: Good luck Finding a Seat, Liberal!

iReport: Sarah Palin’s child may be her daughters?

JedReport: John McCain’s Wandering Eyes